Preview of Obama’s State of the Union Address

By Richard H. Frank

 What he will say:  Our Administration has achieved the greatest number of accomplishments than any administration in recent history:

What He really means:  We have screwed up the Free Enterprise System beyond all recognition.  For you military  guys, it is spelled FUBAR.

What he will say:  We inherited the worst economy since the great depression brought about by the Bush Administration policies and their lack of regulation of financial institutions.

What he really means:  Forget that the democrats controlled Congress since 2006.  Barney Frank and Chris  Dodd ignored warnings about the looming real estate crisis because of their “too big to fail” mentality.

What he will say:  We have saved or created over 2 million jobs as a result of our stimulus programs.

 What he really means:  Americans are too dumb to know that those 2 million jobs will cost them $395,000 per  job.

What he will say:  Our actions have pulled the country back from the brink of financial collapse.

 What he really means:  We now control the banks, the insurance companies and own controlling interest in the US auto industry.  Too big to fail is such a wonderful philosophy.

What he will say:  Ours is the most transparent government in the history of the United States.

 What he really means:  I hear you knocking but you can’t come in.  Knock a little harder and I will close the door  again.

What he will say:  Homeland Security has kept us safer today than in the past.  Any problems are the result of our out of date  procedures carried over from the Bush Administration.

What he really means:  The system worked.  Those dummies in our intelligence agencies just don’t get it when it  comes to connecting the dots so we will just have to make travel more burdensome on the average traveler.

What he will say:  The real war on terror is being fought in Afghanistan where it belongs.  Extremist criminals will be dealt with using our constitutionally authorized judiciary.

What he really means:  We don’t want to be accused of holding enemy combatants without a speedy trial whether they should be afforded protection under our Constitution or not.  Besides, the Constitution is serious flawed anyway.              

What he will say: Let me be perfectly clear, we will not allow the Wall Street bankers to take advantage of  Americans by paying huge bonuses and making gigantic profits on the back of Americans.

What he really means:  I’m gong to tax the hell out of bank profits even though they will pass the increase on to their customers.

 What he will say:  With regard to Health are Reform and Cap and Trade, I am aware of the polls and receive 40,000 letters a day regarding this legislation.  We cannot stop the exploding costs for insurance and energy independence without this legislation.

What he really means:  I really don’t care what you little people think, because I know better.  So just shut up and sit down since Nancy, Harry and I still plan on jamming it down your throats or up the other end of your anatomy if necessary.

What he will say:  This is just the beginning of the “change you voted for.”  The next three years will blow you away as we return to prosperity.

What he really means:  Hang on to your wallets because you haven’t seen anything yet.  Redistribution of  everything you have is my ultimate goal in my quest to “fundamentally change America.”